Ethical Diamond Company Only Uses White Children To Mine (theonion.com)
The news article was published in New York on 2023 February 15th, 4 AM. Everyone knows that the devil lives in New York too so this fact checks out
What? A mining company named Outshine has told reporters that they only use "10-year-olds with blond hair and blue eyes from affluent suburbs around Boston, Milwaukee, and the greater Chicagoland area". They also said “When you buy one of our diamonds, you should feel proud and guilt-free knowing that the types of kids we send into mines have names like Harper, Ashlynn, and Murray. Yes, our child slaves are underage, criminally underpaid, and oftentimes abused or killed, but they are of European descent. And that only makes the diamonds more beautiful!”
Who? All too honest executives at an 'ethical' diamond mining Outshine.
Why? The executives at Outshine are emphasizing that they aimed to be as transparent about their sourcing as possible. They posted some statements claiming that they only used white children to mine the diamonds they use. This according to them is "the most ethical way" to mine diamonds; because the kids who mine them are already rich white kids from Chicago, Boston, e
tc.
What's ironic/satirical about this story?: It plays on the belief most companies hold nowadays that race is the one important factor in whether or not something is unethical. Most Fortune 500 companies don't care about how they're getting the materials used to make their products but the consumers do. The post is a joke about a company that believes they are in the right about they get their diamonds because they only use white children to mine them. It's also a play on the fact that the only thing that's important is that no minorities are used to unethically obtain the resources when in reality the important fact is that children shouldn't be in the mines at all.
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